Physics: Moving Sculpture

The contemporary sculptor is faced with many problems daily. One such problem is the moving of large-scale and/or heavy work. Whether it be concrete covered trees, life-size ceramic figures, or crates filled with hundreds of bones, it needs to be moved at some point. "How does one complete such a task?" you may wonder. A firm understanding of physics is crucial. One might think an elaborate system of pulleys, the use of momentum, chemical reactions, or explosives would be the answer, but there is a far better method. You start by getting 3-4 of your best, 3-dimensionally gifted friends, a couple carts, and several bungees. Do not ask anyone who works exclusively with two dimensions for they do not fully understand the third (or fourth) dimensions. After you've gathered your crew and supplies you are ready to move the sculpture. You have everyone pick a side and lift any way they can, being sure not to focus on proper lifting technique. That takes up too much time, and the sculpture needs to be moved, and preferably quickly considering artists have important obligations such as yoga and swimming in the pool. Once the piece is elevated, move as fast as you can towards the cart, remember that gravity is working against you. Place the sculpture on the cart and proceed to bungee it down. Now the piece is far more mobile and you can push it to it's final destination. Upon arrival repeat the lifting process and situate the piece into it's final resting place. Once complete proceed to the refridgerator for a beer. Check for future posts by Nate explaining the physics behind moving sculpture across uneven train tracks with trains approaching from multiple directions.